This is a video of Glenn Beck's debut on Faux News, so who better than the faux champion of the people, Sarah Palin, to be his first guest to sickeningly schmooze with....
Watching this "little" interview made me... Well, in truth, it made me sick to my stomach. The way in which the two "danced" with one another in the faux backdrop of the frozen tundra made my stomach reel. It felt like Gregory Hines doing a Bojangles imitation on my colon! Suffice it to say it was not (is not) pretty... But it inspired a bit of a silly skit (below the video)...
BECK: Governor Sarah Palin. Hello! How are you?
PALIN: Fine, Glenn. I'm fine and dandy! And you?
BECK: Oh! I'm about to burst! Taut! Bulging with pride at having you on my show!
PALIN: Oh! Glenn! I need to tell you, after watchin' you tear up over our common bondage of special needs children, you need to stop your boo-hoo hooin' and get on with life!
BECK: Okay, but only because you're a hot gramma!
PALIN: Oh! Gee my knee... Thanks, Glenn.
BECK: Just sayin', ya know?
PALIN: Of course you are. Why should you be any different than all the other men I talk to on a daily basis?
BECK: Is Barack Obama your president, Sarah?
PALIN: Ummm... Sure... Sure he is. He's America's president, unless you're one of those strict constitutionalizers like me or you're like Chris Wallace who questions the validness of Barack bein' president due to the language manglin' which Chief Justice Roberts managed to pull off during the swearin' in process.
BECK: I'm certainly a constitutionalizer, and I, like you, believe everything out of Chris Wallace's mouth.
PALIN: Who doesn't, right?
BECK: The liberals don't.
PALIN: Who cares what terrorists think.
BECK: I believe anything you say because you have a special needs child like me! I was also thinking how lucky you are to live in Alaska. No illegal aliens, scumbags sneaking into your country. I mean state.
PALIN: Alaska's great! You betcha! We got Caribou and other critters roamin' free and we got oil runnin' out the ying yang!
BECK: I like the sound of that!
PALIN: Getting back to Obama, I mean President Barack Hussien Obama's policies, my daughter, Willow, who we were goin' to name Caribou but figured it'd be better to name her somethin' that Mommy doesn't shoot at from airplanes, was watchin' the news the other day, blessed child, and she heard someone say that 95% of Americans were goin' to get a tax cut and she asked me, I swear it was one of those precious Hallmark moments in a lovin' mommies life, she asked me, "What about the other 5%? Why should they be punished for bein' rich?"
BECK: Is she a looker like her mommy?
PALIN: Oh! Stop it now... I'm happily married to a champion snow-mobiler!
BECK: Yes, but she ain't, if you know what I mean?
PALIN: Yes and... Well it is true, she's not married to my husband. Hmmm? ...We'll talk about it after the program, `kay?
BECK: Great! Does she like ice cream? What kind?
PALIN: Would you let me finish? It's cold out here!
BECK: Sorry. You're right. Great view, by the way...
PALIN: Gee, thanks...
BECK: I'm just sayin', ya know?
PALIN: (Sarah giggles.) So instead of cryin' and gettin' all boo-hoo hooey about it, I held Willow close to my bosoms and said, "Honey, the money is goin' to be redistributized `cause Barack and all the devilish liberals in this country want it that way.
BECK: I'm just sayin', ya know?
PALIN: (Sarah giggles.) So instead of cryin' and gettin' all boo-hoo hooey about it, I held Willow close to my bosoms and said, "Honey, the money is goin' to be redistributized `cause Barack and all the devilish liberals in this country want it that way.
BECK: Amen, hot gramma!
PALIN: ...I went on to say, "Because Barack used to pal around with those kinds, those ilks, and well he's their president too, but he's ours as well, my sweet Willow." And she said something about Obama's daddy bein' from the country of black Africa and all and his mommy bein' from the state of white Kansas, so I quickly steered the conversation away from pre-marital sex and sinners and the mixin' of races and all that and just hugged her little ice cream cravin' body again and reassured her that we were safe from most of the world's trash heap. That's what mommies do, Glenn. They reassure their children against all that stuff.
BECK: Amen to that, my soul mate of a hotty gramma!
PALIN: Geeze, Glenn. Simmer down a bit would ya? We're on t.v. and you sound like you're speakin' in tongues...
BECK: Oh, but I am. I am.
