A New Fall 2009 Collection of Dining Room Tables

Fall is just around the corner and that means only one thing -- it's time to update your furniture!

Dining room sets, especially dining room tables, seem very popular this season and it appears that the trend will continue, inspired by the Barney Frank's riposte that shook the world: Madam, trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table.

We are happy to present to our readers our favorite dining room tables, all low to moderately priced, available from such retail giants as Walnutmart, Target Obama, KKK-Mart and Crazy Barn.

Here, for example, is a stylish faux antique, made of severely distressed walnut and decorated with ample asshattery and semi-socialistic ruffles:

This model, below, is made of wood imitation and features a combination of some innovative touches such as a removable papier mache cover with the traditional racist overtones -- and as you can see, it is quite popular with the customers (it's perfect for tea-baggers' parties): (SEE MORE TABLES)

Below is an inexpensive table made of layered plywood, sturdy and impenetrable, able to easily sustain any assaults of reason or common sense -- it's particularly recommended for houses located in areas with a flooding libruls problem or democratic hurricanes, since it may serve as a make-shit* cover:

The model below is fashioned after a traditional Amish design, charming in its modesty and evoking memories of simpler times as well as ingrained distrust of anything that may possibly re-arrange its marbles (available in oak, cherry and maple finishes):

Here, for a change (no pun, really), we have a more modern design, compact and not too bright, yet sophisticated enough in its presentation to satisfy a younger customer:

And now our by far most popular design this season, very much in demand: a table cut from the wingnutty liberty tree with the traditional and always alluring finish of combined stupidity and weaponry :

Finally, all tables shown below are currently on sale at Crazy Barn, because they are so last season. Mind you, it is an offer you cannot refuse: buy one, get one free! But be warned, each specimen may be slightly... -- oh, who are we kidding -- seriously damaged and may require extensive polishing and other unsavory manipulations to bring it back to reason and make it usable again (and even then the results are not guaranteed -- so buyer beware!):

Call your local retailer to check for availability of particular models. And happy shopping ya'll!

*No, it's not a typo.

(Photos from CBS News.)

Cross-posted at The Middle of Nowhere


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