The Life & Adventures of Santa Claus: The Illegal Immigrant!

I saw Santa today.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
Working so hard, Working to save!
Sending home dollars and always so brave!

I think he was illegal though I didn’t know for sure.
All I could see was his motives so pure.
No passport. No papers. He just dropped in.
I could hear the ANTIs say, “How dare him!!”
All the families received him just fine!
They embraced him and offered him wine.
I wondered if he heard all the rants!
Accountable for all illegals´accidents.
The Antis were angry! Would they post a website!
Would they call in Arpaio or ICE Raid tonight?
Thrown in a Detention Center with torture to bear?
Or jailed and forced to wear pink underwear?
I need not have worried. He was a wise man
This globalized guy. He did understand.

When he finished his work.
He filled all the stockings and turned with a jerk.
Then waving a finger, aside of his nose.
And giving a nod.
Up the chimney he rose.
And as I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of site,

he said, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.”

This piece originally appeared on the blog Immigration Talk with a Mexican American by Dee who composed it herself. I've been following her blog recently; it looks like a great resource for people interested in immigration issues. Gracias, Dee!

Resisting the Urge

Abstinence advice from Edward Current: Resisting The Urge

My Parties - Dire Straits

well this is my back yard - my back gate
I hate to start my parties late
here's the party cart - ain't that great?
that ain't the best part baby - just wait
that a genuine weather vane - it moves with the breeze
portable hammock baby - who needs trees
it's casual entertaining - we aim to please
at my parties

check out the shingles - it's brand new
excuse me while I mingle - hi, how are you
hey everybody - let me give you a toast
this one's for me - the host with the most

it's getting a trifle colder - step inside my home
that's a brass toilet tissue holder with its own telephone
that's a musical doorbell - it don't ring, I ain't kiddin'
it plays america the beautiful and tie a yellow ribbon

boy, this punch is a trip - it's o.k. in my book
here, take a sip - maybe a little heavy on the fruit
ah, here comes the dip - you may kiss the cook
let me show you honey - it's easy - look
you take a fork and spike 'em - say, did you try these?
so glad you like 'em - the secret's in the cheese
it's casual entertaining - we aim to please
at my parties

now don't talk to me about the polar bear
don't talk to me about the ozone layer
ain't much of anything these days, even the air
they're running out of rhinos - what do I care?
let's hear it for the dolphin - let's hear it for the trees
ain't running out of nothing in my deep freeze
it's casual entertaining - we aim to please
at my parties