Carrying vitality and consciousness,Embracing them as one,Can you keep them from parting?Concentrating energy,Making it supple,Can you be like an infant?Purifying hidden perception,Can you make it flawless?Loving the people,Governing the nation,Can you be uncontrived?

Tao-te Ching

The year is 2015 and the country is in its seventh year of progressive leadership by President Kucinich. Under his guidance our nation has become less dependent on corporate governance and more respective of the Constitution. Wind turbines have replaced oil as the primary source of energy throughout the land, electric sidewalks substituted for autos in urban America and international trade agreements given a new definition which defer to the labor rights of the world. Along with these changes his Department of Peace has earned the respect of nations globally, restoring calm in the Middle East by emphasizing negotiated agreements over cataclysmic militarism.

More important than any of these upgrades though was Kucinich's decision to persuade a federal judge to include in his sentencing of former President Bush a provision to teach him Zen meditation. Bush, removed from office by the impeachment process in 2008 was subsequently convicted of crimes against the Constitution the following year. He was sent to a secret offshore federal security lockup specializing in non-violent behavior modification of prisoners to serve a ten year jail term.

I pick up the story for you in March of 2009 as the disgraced Bush stands before a judge in a federal court room.

FEDERAL JUDGE: You're here in front of me today having been convicted of crimes against the people by a jury of your peers. Are you repentant of your thievery and nefarious actions against them, Mr. Bush ?

CONVICT BUSH: This is a kangaroo court and makes a mockery of freedom. You're just a little tyrant carrying out the dictates of the communist liberals who control you. Is this how you treat the Supreme Commander of the United States ? I demand personal justice at once !

FEDERAL JUDGE: One more outburst like that and you'll be escorted from the room by the guards who brought you here today. Obviously, you're unremorseful and your obstinate remarks lead me to believe you would benefit from exposure to a psychotherapy program. Therefore, I'm ordering you to serve a ten year sentence with the possibility of early release in 2015 if you chasten your attitudes by incorporating the practice of Zen into your lifestyle. Do you have anything else to say, Mr. Bush ?

CONVICT BUSH: All broad-minded people are fairies and my Dad will take care of you ! Besides, he'll just buy me a pardon and make sure I'm treated royally during my incarceration. It'll be like living in a country club. Let the party begin.

We now fast forward to the Fall of 2014. Inmate Bush has been living the past five years in CELL BLOCK W on the planet Saturn where he was transported after his condemnation. This prison wing was established to house fellow white collar criminals who had dutifully carried out the illegal schemes enacted throughout his Administration. Dubya has just been brought to a holding room for a preliminary evaluation before beginning psychotherapy treatment of his condition.

GUARD: Please proceed to the table in the middle of the room and be seated, Prisoner 666. A mentor will be in shortly to begin preparing you for your attitude adjustment.

CONVICT BUSH: This better not be physically painful. I demand to have a lawyer present under my Geneva Convention rights !

COSMIC: Greetings Earthling, Bush. I trust your stay on Saturn has been tolerable to a degree so far ? You probably noticed there's less of an emphasis on human desires here. This is deliberate and was your initial preparation for the type of mental reconditioning I wish to discuss with you today.

CONVICT BUSH: Please, help me guard ! I'm trapped in the room with a little green person. He's not white like me and I have a phobia of anyone who's different from myself. I'll write you a check for $1,000 immediately if you call my Daddy and let him know what's going on.

COSMIC: Your anxiety level really is elevated, Earthling Bush. I think you'll benefit immensely from practicing the type of daily introspection I'm about to introduce you to. Let's get started.

CONVICT BUSH: What's it all about ... can't I just take a pill, gulp a shot of whiskey or indulge myself in some pleasure with the opposite sex ? These methods always worked for me in the past.

COSMIC: It states in your psychological profile you're primarly motivated by GREED, ACCUMULATION OF MATERIAL POSSESIONS and SEXUAL DESIRE. The thoughts your brain produces to achieve these ends leads to your adverse behavior towards other existences around you. Do we agree, Earthling Bush ?

CONVICT BUSH: I'm a captitalist. I believe it's necessary to divide and conquer all those who get in my way of attaining this goal. Some people have called me a selfish pig but my behavior is no different than the peer group I hang out with.

COSMIC: Aaaaah yes ..... we're starting to make some progress with your realization of what makes up your conscious ego. The narcissistic sentiments created there in your mind have become the essence of your personal karma which guide your negative rationalizations. Teaching you how to let go of these dark patterns will free you from their false precepts, wash away your unpleasant emotions and harmonize you with all that is good about the universal cosmic order. Are your ready to begin ?

CONVICT BUSH: Well, I have been tossing and turning in my bed at night while getting only five hours rest. Is this some of that voodoo, Buddhist nonsense I've read about in the prison library ? I'm a fundamental Christian and the Lord is my Savior !

COSMIC: Don't worry, Earthling Bush. The technique I'm going to teach you will retain all the good thoughts you've had in the past while cleansing you of the impure associations causing harmful tension. The goal is to strengthen your mind by merging it with your body through daily self-contemplation so they become a complete individual focused on what's presently occurring naturally around you. Rather than being solely controlled by your prejudicial thoughts from the past, I'm going to show you how to eliminate them. It will reorient your current egocentric temperament to a unified self, free of personal desire and unlimited in its need to foster good will towards others. You will become one entity like the cosmos we live in, constantly growing and adapting the positive qualities you discover. Does this seem appealing to you ?

CONVICT BUSH: What you say sounds logical but I like my personal beliefs and think they will be difficult for me to overcome.

COSMIC: What is reasoning but a system of words produced by our brains to justify our behavior. Some of them translate into ill fortune for others and its this kind of flawed, exclusionary rationale that can be transcended by practicing Zen meditation every day.

CONVICT BUSH: I'm feeling guilty about all the blood I have on my hands to become rich and powerful. If this will rid me of those thoughts, I'll give it a try.

COSMIC: Your first step is developing a disciplined routine which emphasizes correct body posture and breathing patterns. Take this small cushion and sit cross-legged facing the wall. Next, gently breathe in and out from your lower abdomen while casting your eyes exclusively on its rhythmic movement. This method helps you consolidate the mind/body experience by concentrating on the stomach while thoughts flow freely through your cerebrum. As they quickly stream by and dissipate, the mind fuses with your organic host uncluttered by the outgoing harmful ideas. You become a consolidated entity, making visceral decisions with a humane understanding of everything outside of your personal existence.

CONVICT BUSH: Wow .... I'm starting to feel more relaxed already. All the dollar bills and dead bodies drifting by seem to have disappeared into some unknown abyss. Are they gone forever or will they come back ?

COSMIC: Those mentations are the source of your maladaptive behavior in the past and causing inner-conflict now. As your mind and body becomes one they will gradually recede forever reinvigorating your persona with ideas that nurture everyone you encounter in the future. Occasionally, you'll backslide into your old habits but by diligently applying the methods of introspection I've shown you today you'll eventually overcome your privileged demons. Return now to your living quarters in peace, knowing you have learned how to free yourself from the frustrations that have plagued you. I'm available for consultation anytime you request my help.

After seven months of daily practice, Prisoner 666 has made remarkable progress in rehabiltating himself. He's awakened each morning and fervently applied the meditation skills I showed him in the Fall of 2014. During this period, I've reported his gradual improvement to the judge who sentenced him and we both agree Convict Bush's new positive habits qualify him for early release. The story resumes just as my Starship touches down at the Crawford ranch in Texas and the door to his emancipation swings open.

EARTHLING BUSH: Hey ... what's that big orange ball in the sky ? Have the terrorists exploded a nuclear device in my backyard ?

COSMIC: That's the sun, Earthling Bush. While you were away President Kucinich cleaned up the environment and now it shines radiantly in the sky once again for all to admire. The heat it generates is no longer locked in by a ceiling of smog in the atmosphere and the adverse effects of global warming have disappeared. Go ahead ... take a deep breath and experience the delight of inhaling fresh air again.

EARTHLING BUSH: I never realized clean air could be so invigorating nor did I believe I'd ever find inner peace before meeting you. Now when contemplating my navel in the morning while ventilating I can relax even more with each respiration I take. Thank you, Cosmic.

COSMIC: Don't thank me ... it was you that took the initiative to change your life. I just reacquainted you with some tools for moving beyond yourself. If you act as one being, mind and body combined you won't foolishly chase after bad desires that limit your potential. Like the universe, you become one entity constantly altering your beliefs and actions in search of ways to improve the existences all around you. I must return to Saturn now. You're former Vice-President is in need of my help.

EARTHLING BUSH: Goodbye brother Cosmic ... there's always a bunk bed here at the ranch for you.

COSMIC: That's not really necessary, Earthling Bush. You can repay your gratitude to me by teaching the proficiencies I've shown you to your family members and oil industry friends.


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