Petraeus the Magnificent

In the United States, as opposed to Pakistan or some banana republic south of Texas, the military is told what to do by civilians, and that dynamic alone, established well before wars in Korea and Iraq could have been imagined, has kept this form of government legitimate throughout several quagmires like the one we’re in now. The reasons for setting it up like this are many, but whoever’s not acquainted with the concept, read up on Rome and how Caesar came to power. By their very nature, warriors are accustomed to getting their own way, and unless there’s enough muscle within the capital to keep it from happening, the military so cherished today, can and will cut off a government’s head for the sake of winning an argument tomorrow.

When I hear about General Petraeus, as Republicans tell it, the guy is definitely the first officer to have a clue of what he’s doing over in Iraq, and when he speaks, it’s like being one of those people who were lucky enough to see John Lennon sing before he was murdered. So saith Petraeus, on right-wing radio, satellite feeds and scribbled inside the Trapper Keepers of all these pathetic clowns calling themselves Republicans today. The emperor having been naked for a couple years, is now content to fondle himself until 2009, these cowards are literally lining up for a chance to shine this General’s shoes. How far we’ve fallen, when the party of Eisenhower turns into this, a group of confused cyborgs yearning to be taken advantage of by a strong, authoritative man wearing a uniform.

Now there was a President who was hip to the flip, and well understood the fact that if you allowed a military general to waltz into DC with the type of clout being handed to Patraeus, it was like hiring junkies to run methadone clinics. Indeed, you’ll inspect the place one day and half the employees aren’t well enough to work, half of the drugs have gone missing, the paperwork is impossible to decipher and the one in charge is telling you to take it easy, calm down, it’s not that bad. What else would they tell you? The recent headline said that Patraeus might be able to let go of 4,000 troops by next spring.

So the question now is, whether or not there are some Democrats who are prepared to put this guy in his place. I doubt there are, but I am holding out hope for Russ Feingold or Chuck Hagel to rise above the middle-management funk crippling the Senate so far in 2007. Carl Levin and Harry Reid are perfect examples, a couple of guys who would definitely buy timeshares from Shelly Levine. Tweedle-dumbfuck and tweedle-dumberfuck, blocking for all their “good friends” who decided to run for President, like this is a student council meeting over when to hold the bake sale. The whole situation is to history what diarea is to a toilet bowl.

What’s left is Petraeus himself, a wanna-be cut from the same cloth as Peter Pace. Never able to appreciate that while given a whole lot of lip service by the President, it’s still a situation where too much has to be done with not enough, just like it was from the start. A ridiculous war put on the credit card by a handful of stupid people, all of whom Petraeus voluntarily covers for, lies for. In fact, the only people who understand the role of a General are occupying the White House, and it shows. Watch this idiot take one for the team he’ll never be a part of next week, at the expense of a team he actually does belong to! You know, that Army we used to have.


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