Sometimes it takes a headline to jolt the senses enough for my muse to rise up and begin to move me to write.
I had her look at the headlines below and she smirked, rolled her eyes and said, "You've got to be kidding me? Those headlines aren't inspiring, they're, unbeknownst to their authors, friggin’ rhetorical!" I responded incredulously. Really? You think so? I ducked and she began to furiously break each of them down for me. The headline comes first, followed by her detailed analysis.
Tucker Carlson and Dana Perino Join Fox News as Contributors
No shit! Couldn't have seen that one coming...
Republican Insiders: Cheney Is Hurting the Party
No shit! You reap what you sow, I suppose.
Bair: Some Bank CEO’s Will be Fired
No shit! (As well they should be!)
911 Mastermind Questioned About Iraq/Al Qaeda Link During Waterboardings
Media Shocked, Shocked, Shocked (I tell ya!) That Pelosi Criticizes CIA
No shit! Liberal media bias my ass! The MSM are a bunch of egomaniacal corporate friggin’ lapdogs!
Miss California on Cable News: Fox & Friends Gives Carrie Prejean Her Chance
Oh my goodness! Who’d have ever imagined that one, Wally!
43 Children Stun-Gunned at Prisons ‘Take Your Kid to Work’ Day
Wait... You snuck a headline in on me!
This one’s got legs. Not too shoddy.
That one, my dear, is a headline that,
Although shocking, no pun intended,
Hasn’t a rhetorical bone in its body.
Now, if you’ll not bother me again,
Until you stop being a nitwit,
I might, sometime in the future,
take you seriously... No shit.
© 2008 mrp/thepoetryman